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Attachment to a non-human mammal that doesn't give a fuck about you bespeaks emotional damage. It's the kind that transforms you from "alluringly quirky" to "certifiable.

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Shit like that was genetically selected against a million years ago. That gangbang between the Backstreet Boys and the cast of Buffy is much hotter in your head than on your website.

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Little digital cameras on your cell phone. These are for taking dirty pictures and posting them online, not for snapping your fully clothed friends in bars.

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